A CrAzY DaY !!!!!

Yes ... that has wat it has been today ..... Totally InSaNe !!!!

As usual, when i was abt to go to bed tonight, i sat back to reflect upon the day it was ... and the first thought i get .... is quite evident by now i suppose .....

Right from getting assigned to 3 difft tasks in the first half hour of the work day, to getting screwed by bosses, tat too over an International call .... not to forget getting a task at 4:30 PM and ppl expecting it to be over by COD !!!!! .....

And just when you thought tat you had survived the day, the boss coming and changing the requirements at 8:15 PM ..... makes one realize how shamelessly entanled we all have become in these mediocre routine !!!!!

The worst part of the whole day .... still remains the overseas partners' issues which have no bloody sense of timing ( 9 PM ) and the traffice jam on the way back home ..... tops the list !!!

Only apologies to all the bosses, whose work i might not have given my complete 100 % to !!!

-- GrEySkUlL


To Know Where The Shoe Pinches .....

12 AM on the 1st of January 2009 .... The sounds of neighbors yelling "Happy New Year" to their kids over the phone ... Party animals returning on bikes which scream louder than my neighbors ..... Fire Crackers bursting loudly and welcoming the New Year .... My cell phone buzzing with an Inbox full of Wishes .... All the friends on Gtalk, many of whom I've even forgotten how I know, Wishing me a Good Year Ahead ....

A Better Year Ahead ... Is what I need ..... Better than what I got in 2008 ...

As the noises drown around me, I am reminded of a saying "This Too Shall Pass ......." quietening my mind ..... quietening my thoughts ... quietening my questions ... slowly dragging me into the New Year .... giving a new surge of Hope, Strength and Faith ..... The Faith which is so remarkably Strong !!!!

As the New Year Dawns ... I hope to get more Strength .... Strength to Face The Brutes .... to have Faith in ourselves, Faith in the Supreme Soul .... and mainly the knowledge To Know Where The Shoe Pinches !!!!


Insomnia !!!

Tried watching TV, Finished reading today's TOI all over agian, Read a few verses from the Bhagavad Gita, Tried listening to some soothing music .... but all to no avail !!

Sleep ... as it seems, is in no mood to come and engulf me ..... This, in turn has aroused many dormant thoughts, which were almost lost the labyrinth called my 'Conscious Mind'. Perhaps I have been unconsciously (or subconsciously (???) .. I dont know the difference yet .....) waiting for this arousal of thoughts, perhaps I am raring to start looking for answers ... again, or perhaps its just a tried mind ranting ..... I dont have an answer ..... but all I have is this .....

The cOnFuSiOn has returned !!!!

Shall soon resume the Rantings .... of a CoNfUsEd soul (or is it the mind ????) !!!!!



Its been a long time since i blogged about my CoNfUsIoNs. The reasons for it, I am in no mood to explain.

Anyways I had been wondering about my theory of "Life" being an "Illusion" again.... I have Ranted about it over here and here. The latter being more centered around the Ego of the self.

What has kept me busy is the demarcation / the Thin Line between Destiny and Choices.

How much of our life is determined by our destiny and how much of it is self created (by the choices which we make) ????

When I remarked earlier that "Life is just an Illusion...." how right or how wrong was I about it ??? When Swji himself has told that "Man is the Maker of his Own Destiny", then how can I, a mere cOnFuSeD soul, make such a bold remark as that !!!!!

I am just happy now that I didnt take a longer time to realize my mistake :)

What I've come to realize about the Question in hand, the Question about the Destiny and Choices, is that The Choices that we make now, will lead to newer choices in future, which in turn leads to more choices, and so on. What, according to me, can be termed as Destiny is just the choices we face as a result of the choices previously chosen. Thinking about it, the choices in life we face now, are the direct (or indirect) resultant of the choices we would've done earlier in life, or maybe in the past lives. (Considering the fact that I believe in the existence of the past lives and the indestructible nature of the soul)

Further on, I have begun to believe that There exists a very thin line between the outcome of the choices and the destiny. Or maybe we just term the Outcome of the Choices we make, as Destiny (?) . This may be due to the simple fact that we lesser mortals do not understand the complexity at work behind the scenes. The complexities which create the result of an action, in our case the outcome of our choices. Sometimes, these resultants can be sprawled across births, resulting in the current situation.

While talking to a very eminent speaker, to whom I put across this Question, I realised that to understand all the intricacies involved, we need to train the mind in this direction....
So here I go.... in search of the answers ...... again !!


And... They called it a Party !!!!!

Pictre This !!!!!!

One not so big hall, with a so called DJ / MC shouting for ppl to jump in the air for the crappy music they were playing on one side, and on the other side the so called "educated people" pushing and falling on each other just to get a hold of a glass of Beer. The poor helpless bartender carelessly pouring glass after glass of frothing matter and pushing it across the counter. Saw the proof of the whole "Survival Of the Fittest" theory !!!!!

No.. i wont end the story there, there is more !!!!
The small 5ft x 5ft wooden platform at the foot of the DJ's console was termed as the "Dance Floor". Well, what can u dance (even if u remotely felt like it) on such a place which had more than a 100 strong Men, each at least 2 mugs of beer into their bellies, oblivious (?) of their surroundings, shaking violently to the blaring sound from the speakers !!!!

Those poor ladies had to flee out of the testosterone pool so save a few embarrassing moments....

Anyways, the highlight of the whole event ...... I just found more abt Myself !!!!!!!

If this is what people term as a "New Year Bash", I am just thanking my stars that I did not start a whole new year with this, but learnt How Not to start one !!!!! Happy that its over now, and i can put it back with all the Memories of 2007, which I wish to forget !!!!

If at all I could do the Memory Charm on myself now........


A Ride Back Home........

Never Ever did i even remotely think in my wildest dreams that a ride back home, at 8 PM on a weekday, with a light drizzle all the way would get me back onto my senses... and leave me energized all over again !!!!!

A total bounce of the DB....i must say :)

Yes, this was the break which i wanted from the now so normal 10 AM to 10 PM routine, which had emerged out of nowhere !!!!!!!

waiting for the next rain in Bluru !!!